In God Alone

I feel like I want change so bad...and yet I really don't know why. I don't know if it's God stirring in me, or if it's just a desire to run from so many things I don't like right now about my life...

• I don't like how my spiritual life is. I know this is home-sickness because I was made for a lot more, to be a lot more than I am right now.
  
• I don't like it that I'm not involved in any ministry right now (other than my family)...and especially don't like that I don't have any desire to involve in any ministry. I feel like something frustrated me and now I feel completely discouraged. I feel "dreamless" in this area, but I don't want to!
  
• I don't like the idea of thinking about going back to work. I will have to leave Tiago in a day-care! My maternity-leave ends end of May and I'm going there tomorrow to see if I can have another month off (without pay) so I go back only in August (july is vacation). My desire is to not go back at all, but I know in the future I will want Tiago to be able to come to school with me and have free tuition.
  
• I don't like it that Marcos is so tired. He's waking up before 5, catching two buses in order to get to the company's bus and get to work. Then twice a week he goes straight from work to the university and comes home by train and foot at 11 pm. For two and half days he doesn't see Tiago (other than a quick peak in his crib before he comes to sleep).

All of this makes me miss my family. I guess I miss being in the US..having an easier life, being close to family, and growing more spiritually. I also feel sad that Tiago is growing up far away from them. But I know that's life. God never called me to have a confortable life, be close to family all the time, have all the right circumstances for an easy spiritual growth.

I sure hope that some things change and that in the midst of the ones that won't change, I can find contentment and satisfaction in God alone.