Swimming against the tide!

Yesterday was a long day for me...

I had an interview in the morning, at 10. I left home at 9 and found out that traffic was still really bad at this time. I got to my mother-in-law's house at 9:25, fed Tiago super fast (he's only been eating for about 5 minutes, so I was able to!), and left at 9:35 to discover traffic was awful. I got stuck on one road for almost 30 minutes! I called the school and said that I was stuck in traffic but was still going to try to get there. I turned on the radio and found out that there was some kind of manifestation going on with the objective of reducing work hours (sure enough, so many people must have gotten so late to work that they had their working hours reduced from 45 to 0). When I finally made it across the bridge, I took a tunnel I knew would get me right to the school. However, there suddenly came a fork I didn't know about...and I didn't know if I had to go to the left or to the right. I went to the right and YES, it was wrong. I got lost. By the time I came close to the school I was one hour late so I just went right back to my mother-in-law's house. That's São Paulo!

I stayed there for a while, had lunch, and went home. I put Tiago down for his nap and went to look over again what I was going to say at the Déboras meeting (ministry of mother's who pray for their children). I woke up Tiago for his next feeding and left. The meeting was good, it was very interesting to see the women (who were either new christians or still getting there!) talk about their needs. They were so in need of talking!! I left feeling a little bit weird...kind of sad.

We got in the car and went straight to pick up Marcos. It was night already and I sat in the car at the supermarket parking lot while I waited for Marcos to arrive (he was stuck in traffic) and while Tiago was taking his nap in the car seat.

I started to wonder and pray about why I felt so melancholy. Suddenly I realized why. I started remembering those women in the group...how they asked for prayer for their husbands and their stress...for the child who has panic syndrome...for their health (one of them had felt really bad during work). I suddenly felt so alone, and so different. I'm home with my baby, and days like this one, where things are more stressful, are not usual. I'm more peaceful now, enjoying him, enjoying my home, my roles, my life. I'm not rushing, working, or trying to get too many things done. I am a RARE woman in my society. I say this because this city (and I guess this world) has a hectic way of living and this has become the normal.

I felt so bad at that moment in the car because I felt so alone and different. I'm not saying this is bad, but I realized that sometimes I was going to face a lot of pressure. The society around me does not value a woman who has chosen to stay home with her child (usually a woman who does this just wasn't able to find a job!). The society norm is for a woman to go after a career and she it does because that's just the way it is! We don't know anything else because that's what society created for us over the years (as women fought for her equal rights over men). It's strange though, that we do it and in order to have the career we hire someone else to raise our kids. So someone is having a career in raising my children so that I can have a career to feel good, have a confortable life, feel like I have made important achievements. But, what could be more important than having a career of raising my children, creating strong, lasting bond with them, showing them God in everything, giving them a mom who is present and loving and dedicated to them.

I'm not saying every woman should stop working, some really need it (financially or emotionally). But I do think most of us need to reflect upon the sacrifices that we are having to take in order to have a career and see if they are really worth it.

It's hard...but I feel so peaceful now with my decision (I probably will work in the future, but right now is the moment when I can spend more time with my baby, and I want to make the most of it...later on, the school, the friends, will have many of my son's hours). I realize that many days I will feel excluded, different, and by consequece, pressured, because I have not chosen a way of life that is normal or even valued. But I do know that God values it...and I really do want to please Him.

So...I join the ones that have chosen to swim against the tide...it won't be easy, but it'll be worth it!